I'm wearing "Festive-Funereal" to school today. I don't think I've done that before. I wore it to enkais and LNFs and Prisms, though. Basically it serves well at any function that is both a celebration and an ending. So, graduation parties are a good example. Anything that is a loss, but much more than a loss.
Today is my last class with the Cats.
And yeah it's like that. I think that the teachers were more impressed, overall, with the Dogs class that went before them. But if I am honest, I was too new when I struggled to get to know them. I was terrified of the Dogs, and their class, at that time. But the Cats have been special to me, at least, despite (because of?) their rougher edges, their less bright-shiny aspect. I feel a lot more connected with them. Also, my favorite students (so far) are all Cats.
My speech kids, my Sequim girls, "my" this or "my" that. I am a proud person, and I have adopted them to be proud of. I am thrilled, at least for those I know, and I believe in them, I think they have good hearts that will go a long way.
And I'll miss them. I love the old class president (also my speech boy). He has been, and I mean this, a joy to have in class. I am not sure I really understood that phrase that appeared on my report cards until this class came along. I would look at the schedule board and think, yes I have a bunch of class today, but I get to have him, or Kumi, or Maho, or Keisuke. I liked going to their classes, I hoped the random selection process of daily conversation would land on them, because I wanted to see what they would do or say when it did.
They have been bright sparks, fueling my curiousity and sometimes even hope.. every JET has those days where they think (realize?) that their job doesn't reeeally have all that much impact. But with a Kumi in your class, it isn't so. (I think my speech boy would shine with or without me, but I like to just sit back and spectate on that for some of them.. I like that I can understand a lot more of what gets said now).
The truth is, I love them, and I hate to lose them, even though I am happy for their futures. Some of them got into even better schools than I expected. They are really going places, even getting out of this small town.
So it's good. But, it's sad too. I'm reading them this, although we won't have time to translate all of it for them.
And I'm still so busy with getting ready for my Shorinji Kempo test (aaah!!! OMFG), trying to put out the March issue of Hyogo Times, along with a huge pile of elementary classes (stupid final exams in middle school)... That I don't have time to do what I would like to do. Which is sit here contemplatively; or go take a walk. Or just go hang out with them, watch them cut up.